It seemed middle of the night. The hallway was long, really long, a hospital hallway. The IV lines were connected. The entire bed was moving down the hallway. I was being pushed but I could not see anyone! Where was Ravi (my hubby) and my Sri (son)!
What was happening? I felt no pain at all? Was I dreaming? I tried to move my fingers and I could, so I was probably not dreaming. This was even more confusing, the bed was moving down the dimly lit hospital hallway. All I could see in the far end was a wall. Where was I going? The immediate thought that stuck me– Am I dead? I felt no pain at all!!!!.......................................... I had read somewhere that after death we travel in the same state which we are when we take our last breath and do not experience pain? Not sure if this is true or not, for no one knows!
I was confused, let me admit very scared and not sure of what was happening. All this happened in less than 2 to 3 minutes. I had to pull in a lot of courage to call out ‘doctor’ because I remember I was in the casualty ward of the hospital. Immediately, to my greatest relief someone answered ‘Yes’ from behind. I tried to turn around and the ‘nurse’ (not Lord Yama as I was imagining) said ‘Relax, we are taking you to the scanning room. You were fast asleep and the doctor suggested we move you along with the cot so as not to disturb you’!
The reason I was in the hospital; I was taken by surprise when I developed an unbearable pain in the back, discomfort, nausea. Our physician assumed it could be as simple as ‘Gastric’ and tried to treat. In spite of the 7-8 pain killing injections my pain did not subside. The doctors doubted it could be a renal stone and hence advised scanning. To cut this short, it was later diagnosed as colic and luckily for me it subsided without any medication or surgery (had it been worst!).
This incident was an eye opener in many ways. Firstly the blessing of ‘Life’ - to be alive! We hardly spend few minutes realizing how grateful, blessed we are to be with our dear and near ones. Nothing else matters more than that. When one becomes helpless, situations seem helpless, doctors seem helpless, family feels helpless, when all the options/doors seem closed, it is confusing and the worst just not ready to ‘ACCEPT’ the reality! That is scary! We all know that this ‘Life’ will come to an end one day, but it should never come ‘UNTIMELY’. We probably are here with a purpose. People who have been through this would agree about the Random thoughts or madness one faces at such situations! WHY ME? What harm did I do to anyone????? I have seen/heard about people in these situations but in reality had never faced something so close! I admit, I too questioned, WHY ME GOD? PLEASE HELP ME LORD! ……....and he did!
I consider myself and others who are out of such situations as very lucky and BLESSED! ‘LIFE’ is the biggest gift in this LIFE…time…..! A bonus when you have a loving family and great friends who walk with you! Having a decent and peaceful job, just got us luckier!!!! Never stop counting your blessings. Money, promotions, owning a house, car can never be compared to the gift of ‘LIFE’!!!!! It is easier said than done! Yeah, I am a human being, need money; want to own a house, not sure about promotions though (hmmm). But the realization that these material needs are not everything is of utmost important and should not be the sole goals or purpose in Life. A little bit of self realization, charity, honesty, empathy will make us more peaceful and a good human being………………… Life is the greatest Gift of all!
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Motor Gadi?
Wake up! We have reached Kalka! I heard my husband calling out and jumped out of the cozy 2 tier AC berth ! My son was still sleeping and holding onto to me. Yeah realized the train had stopped! We hurriedly unloaded the luggage and rushed to another platform where we had hopes of getting onto to the ‘Shivalik Express’ to reach Shimla!
Disappointed! We had overslept and missed the tickets! Anyways the next passenger train to Shimla was at 8.30 and we had nearly 2 hours before we boarded the train! We got our tickets, and luckily the train was at the platform by 7.30am. We got into the train and found comfortable seats ! My son went back to sleep!
We still had an hour. I was sitting by the window sipping hot tea, looking around and was pleasantly enjoying the happenings around (love doing it!). The train (toy train) got packed in sometime and I could see people arguing for seat /luggage place etc.
One old lady caught my attention. She entered our compartment; she looked old, frail, tired eyes, messed grey hair. She noticed that there was no vacant seat. She murmured something and squat at the compartment door blocking the way. At the scheduled time the train rolled out of the station, swinging (yes it swings ) and slowly the wheels moved over the narrow gauge rails! It was exciting! Cool breeze, fresh air…..it would be a lovely journey up the hill!
Coming back, the old lady at the door made herself more comfortable and lied down. This irritated a few people who were standing and they demanded that she either sit or stand so as not to cause inconvenience to the fellow passengers! One after the other the local people went on non-stop shouting at her! She did not reiterate. She slowly got up and sat. She had not spoken a word. There was one guy who did not stop at this…..he further abused her saying (this was in Hindi) “you should find a motor gadi (gadi meaning vehicle) separately for you where you can sleep and travel, people like you travel free of cost and are such a nuisance to others “! The old lady looked into his eyes and replied slowly (again in Hindi), “I do not need any motor vehicle and practically speaking so does anybody, as long as we all are alive we can travel by any motor gadi that suits our pockets, cycle, rikshaw, car, train or aeroplane. But remember at the end of our journey, we really are not sure what motor gadi God will provide us, we all will travel free of cost! Will there be a different class of motor gadi for different classes of people then? I thought that we all will travel in a similar gadi! Remember (yaad rakho ) Life itself is a journey and in what motor gadi one travels does not matter much as we all reach the same destination, ” I was dumb struck and so were a few others who heard and understood what she was saying!!!!
Her words were completely meaningful, we are surrounded with people fighting for luxury, comfort and cribbing for things that they do not have rather than spend a little more time in self realization, being good to others, sacrifice, sharing, charity, simplicity and above all being thankful for what we are blessed with!
I looked at her, she was sitting with her eyes shut and I remember she got down at a station mid way. Rest of the journey was pleasant, I was not cribbing that I missed the famous ‘Shivalik – Himalyan queen’ express. I enjoyed the passenger motor gadi which slowly but safely reached us to Shimla by late afternoon!
Disappointed! We had overslept and missed the tickets! Anyways the next passenger train to Shimla was at 8.30 and we had nearly 2 hours before we boarded the train! We got our tickets, and luckily the train was at the platform by 7.30am. We got into the train and found comfortable seats ! My son went back to sleep!
We still had an hour. I was sitting by the window sipping hot tea, looking around and was pleasantly enjoying the happenings around (love doing it!). The train (toy train) got packed in sometime and I could see people arguing for seat /luggage place etc.
One old lady caught my attention. She entered our compartment; she looked old, frail, tired eyes, messed grey hair. She noticed that there was no vacant seat. She murmured something and squat at the compartment door blocking the way. At the scheduled time the train rolled out of the station, swinging (yes it swings ) and slowly the wheels moved over the narrow gauge rails! It was exciting! Cool breeze, fresh air…..it would be a lovely journey up the hill!
Coming back, the old lady at the door made herself more comfortable and lied down. This irritated a few people who were standing and they demanded that she either sit or stand so as not to cause inconvenience to the fellow passengers! One after the other the local people went on non-stop shouting at her! She did not reiterate. She slowly got up and sat. She had not spoken a word. There was one guy who did not stop at this…..he further abused her saying (this was in Hindi) “you should find a motor gadi (gadi meaning vehicle) separately for you where you can sleep and travel, people like you travel free of cost and are such a nuisance to others “! The old lady looked into his eyes and replied slowly (again in Hindi), “I do not need any motor vehicle and practically speaking so does anybody, as long as we all are alive we can travel by any motor gadi that suits our pockets, cycle, rikshaw, car, train or aeroplane. But remember at the end of our journey, we really are not sure what motor gadi God will provide us, we all will travel free of cost! Will there be a different class of motor gadi for different classes of people then? I thought that we all will travel in a similar gadi! Remember (yaad rakho ) Life itself is a journey and in what motor gadi one travels does not matter much as we all reach the same destination, ” I was dumb struck and so were a few others who heard and understood what she was saying!!!!
Her words were completely meaningful, we are surrounded with people fighting for luxury, comfort and cribbing for things that they do not have rather than spend a little more time in self realization, being good to others, sacrifice, sharing, charity, simplicity and above all being thankful for what we are blessed with!
I looked at her, she was sitting with her eyes shut and I remember she got down at a station mid way. Rest of the journey was pleasant, I was not cribbing that I missed the famous ‘Shivalik – Himalyan queen’ express. I enjoyed the passenger motor gadi which slowly but safely reached us to Shimla by late afternoon!
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