Recently, my aunt’s dad was hospitalized. This came as a surprise because her mom was hospitalized a month back, was in the ICU, recovered and back home now. I called to check with my aunt to know how her dad was doing. She sounded sad and said that the doctors have done everything that they could and there was not much hopes of his recovery.
It felt sad, I asked if her mom was fine and she was. We started chatting (we are more like friends) and in between she said “now all that we can do is wait and pray dad breathes his last in a peaceful way and not suffer further”……this kind of sounded very disturbing to me! I was silent as she continued…..as I was not sure if I should express my thoughts then, was it the right time?
Nevertheless, I could not hold myself and said “ Anju, don’t mind me saying this, I am confused with what you just said, why should we be so negative or lose hopes, remember, your mom was serious and by God’s grace she is doing well”…….I tried expressing my thoughts to her randomly……..while we agree the person (refer to anyone in that situation) is suffering , imagine if he realized (sub consciously if he is awake but not able to respond) that people around him are giving up, his own family is giving up, what would he or she think? All this when the person suffering is putting his best efforts to fight the situation, to bounce back! He must have stood by the family during the toughest times! That must be so depressing and de-motivating! It would rather beat down his hopes and then probably, the person gave in?
I remember when my grandma was very sick (many times family members had given up any chance of her bouncing back) and I spoke to her, though she was tired, she always said that something within her does not let her give-up easily and to our luck she survived many years too…………….she passed away few years back…….. also, my mother in law fell seriously ill (septicima) few years back, she was in the ICU, her BP and sugars were uncontrollable, doctors were worried, they said they did everything, all the family members got together, I remember it so well, hubby and me took off from work, adding to the pain, she could not recognize any one of us! After one such visit to the ICU, I was sitting with one of my relative who said “ I don’t think she (my MIL) will make it this time – it is 50-50, what do you say?”………. I immediately blurted out saying “Lets not lose hope, she is known for her will power , my take is, atthe –( meaning MIL) will bounce back, it is a matter of time, though she is not recognizing us because of her medical conditions and medication, I am sure she will not give up” and true to what I prayed, hoped, she recovered completely, she was out of the ICU a week later, moved to a ward, recognized all of us, she started talking, then slowly walking and we got her back home. This was more than 4 years back and she is doing fine now inspite of her age related health issues………..would you believe if I said she still cooks some of our favorite dishes when we visit her? Yes she does!
All this keeps me wondering ! While, illness, old age etc. do contribute to one’s well being and longevity the will power of the person fighting - supported by the love and affection of near and dear ones can make miracles happen (like in my MIL’s case)……… What if it happened to me and people around me gave up when I did not want to is the question we need to ask ourselves! It is not going to be easy ! I do not want to embrace death thinking I am no more required? Near and dear ones don’t mind my absence! Oh the very thought is so stressing……………..instead, someone you love besides you treating you lovingly is more satisfiying, holding their hand when you think they don’t realize (but they do is my honest feeling), talking to them - it is OK if they did not respond, remember they might be listening to you, telling them how much you mean to them and how badly you are waiting for them to feel better is probably no harm rather than convincing ourselves that “IT IS OVER”………………..
Friday, February 4, 2011
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Happiness!!!
I am not sure what I am going to pen down now. Random thoughts of friends, family, colleagues fill my mind. I am not getting confused. Just that too much to think.
I happened to read a few blogs on bonding, family, work, travelogue and so on. Interestingly the conclusion, theme, message of all the articles lead to ‘Happiness’. Some called out ‘Happiness’ and some did not, but then the underlying message was just that!
Thinking a little deeper, what is this happiness all about? Money, Comfort, Party, Good health, Great LIFE partner, Kids, Parents, friends, Colleagues, Work, Travel, Promotion? Hmmmm, so it cannot be just one thing that can conclude or rather declare “I am happy because I have……..”.
Back on track, what is happiness? I recently read somewhere ‘Happiness is a state of mind’! To a very large extent I think ‘Yes’. No one other than us can control our mind – yeah! Cool ! awesome! Something finally we own! We rule our mind! Easier said than done. I am arguing with my own thoughts here, if it is a state of mind; how do I bring myself at it? What strikes me immediately - Is it Contentment? May be yes, yes!……… I am getting a bit convinced now. Again, convincing oneself ‘I am contented’ while one is not will lead to sorrow! Strange but true isn’t it ? So by saying contended we might be sacrificing something very dear? Might have to be cautious here, momentary contentment, rather convincing, accepting the facts when things no more seem to fall in place would still not qualify!
Each one of us are learning day in and day out in this university of ‘Life’! We are finding new ways to be ‘happy’, to excel (personal success and goals), to provide the best to our family, dear ones! As I have witnessed very closely, some of my dearest friends and family members have bounced back to good health! Some have had great promotions, few of them lost jobs! Some are struggling to move on……
All these thoughts finally boil down to ‘us’ as an individual. We are the one’s to decide, learn to find happiness, appreciate small things. Family, external circumstances, people play a major role. At the end, it still points to us alone! I am nowhere close to understanding what salvation/bliss/nirvana is all about wherein the scriptures call it ‘Ultimate happiness’!..... I am a normal human being and will consider myself luckiest if I can understand and walk towards it! Being a good human being (truly, honestly), is one small step towards keeping us contented/happy. As heard, read and said -Count your blessings! I am smiling now………………………….
I happened to read a few blogs on bonding, family, work, travelogue and so on. Interestingly the conclusion, theme, message of all the articles lead to ‘Happiness’. Some called out ‘Happiness’ and some did not, but then the underlying message was just that!
Thinking a little deeper, what is this happiness all about? Money, Comfort, Party, Good health, Great LIFE partner, Kids, Parents, friends, Colleagues, Work, Travel, Promotion? Hmmmm, so it cannot be just one thing that can conclude or rather declare “I am happy because I have……..”.
Back on track, what is happiness? I recently read somewhere ‘Happiness is a state of mind’! To a very large extent I think ‘Yes’. No one other than us can control our mind – yeah! Cool ! awesome! Something finally we own! We rule our mind! Easier said than done. I am arguing with my own thoughts here, if it is a state of mind; how do I bring myself at it? What strikes me immediately - Is it Contentment? May be yes, yes!……… I am getting a bit convinced now. Again, convincing oneself ‘I am contented’ while one is not will lead to sorrow! Strange but true isn’t it ? So by saying contended we might be sacrificing something very dear? Might have to be cautious here, momentary contentment, rather convincing, accepting the facts when things no more seem to fall in place would still not qualify!
Each one of us are learning day in and day out in this university of ‘Life’! We are finding new ways to be ‘happy’, to excel (personal success and goals), to provide the best to our family, dear ones! As I have witnessed very closely, some of my dearest friends and family members have bounced back to good health! Some have had great promotions, few of them lost jobs! Some are struggling to move on……
All these thoughts finally boil down to ‘us’ as an individual. We are the one’s to decide, learn to find happiness, appreciate small things. Family, external circumstances, people play a major role. At the end, it still points to us alone! I am nowhere close to understanding what salvation/bliss/nirvana is all about wherein the scriptures call it ‘Ultimate happiness’!..... I am a normal human being and will consider myself luckiest if I can understand and walk towards it! Being a good human being (truly, honestly), is one small step towards keeping us contented/happy. As heard, read and said -Count your blessings! I am smiling now………………………….
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Life is the greatest Gift of all!
It seemed middle of the night. The hallway was long, really long, a hospital hallway. The IV lines were connected. The entire bed was moving down the hallway. I was being pushed but I could not see anyone! Where was Ravi (my hubby) and my Sri (son)!
What was happening? I felt no pain at all? Was I dreaming? I tried to move my fingers and I could, so I was probably not dreaming. This was even more confusing, the bed was moving down the dimly lit hospital hallway. All I could see in the far end was a wall. Where was I going? The immediate thought that stuck me– Am I dead? I felt no pain at all!!!!.......................................... I had read somewhere that after death we travel in the same state which we are when we take our last breath and do not experience pain? Not sure if this is true or not, for no one knows!
I was confused, let me admit very scared and not sure of what was happening. All this happened in less than 2 to 3 minutes. I had to pull in a lot of courage to call out ‘doctor’ because I remember I was in the casualty ward of the hospital. Immediately, to my greatest relief someone answered ‘Yes’ from behind. I tried to turn around and the ‘nurse’ (not Lord Yama as I was imagining) said ‘Relax, we are taking you to the scanning room. You were fast asleep and the doctor suggested we move you along with the cot so as not to disturb you’!
The reason I was in the hospital; I was taken by surprise when I developed an unbearable pain in the back, discomfort, nausea. Our physician assumed it could be as simple as ‘Gastric’ and tried to treat. In spite of the 7-8 pain killing injections my pain did not subside. The doctors doubted it could be a renal stone and hence advised scanning. To cut this short, it was later diagnosed as colic and luckily for me it subsided without any medication or surgery (had it been worst!).
This incident was an eye opener in many ways. Firstly the blessing of ‘Life’ - to be alive! We hardly spend few minutes realizing how grateful, blessed we are to be with our dear and near ones. Nothing else matters more than that. When one becomes helpless, situations seem helpless, doctors seem helpless, family feels helpless, when all the options/doors seem closed, it is confusing and the worst just not ready to ‘ACCEPT’ the reality! That is scary! We all know that this ‘Life’ will come to an end one day, but it should never come ‘UNTIMELY’. We probably are here with a purpose. People who have been through this would agree about the Random thoughts or madness one faces at such situations! WHY ME? What harm did I do to anyone????? I have seen/heard about people in these situations but in reality had never faced something so close! I admit, I too questioned, WHY ME GOD? PLEASE HELP ME LORD! ……....and he did!
I consider myself and others who are out of such situations as very lucky and BLESSED! ‘LIFE’ is the biggest gift in this LIFE…time…..! A bonus when you have a loving family and great friends who walk with you! Having a decent and peaceful job, just got us luckier!!!! Never stop counting your blessings. Money, promotions, owning a house, car can never be compared to the gift of ‘LIFE’!!!!! It is easier said than done! Yeah, I am a human being, need money; want to own a house, not sure about promotions though (hmmm). But the realization that these material needs are not everything is of utmost important and should not be the sole goals or purpose in Life. A little bit of self realization, charity, honesty, empathy will make us more peaceful and a good human being………………… Life is the greatest Gift of all!
What was happening? I felt no pain at all? Was I dreaming? I tried to move my fingers and I could, so I was probably not dreaming. This was even more confusing, the bed was moving down the dimly lit hospital hallway. All I could see in the far end was a wall. Where was I going? The immediate thought that stuck me– Am I dead? I felt no pain at all!!!!.......................................... I had read somewhere that after death we travel in the same state which we are when we take our last breath and do not experience pain? Not sure if this is true or not, for no one knows!
I was confused, let me admit very scared and not sure of what was happening. All this happened in less than 2 to 3 minutes. I had to pull in a lot of courage to call out ‘doctor’ because I remember I was in the casualty ward of the hospital. Immediately, to my greatest relief someone answered ‘Yes’ from behind. I tried to turn around and the ‘nurse’ (not Lord Yama as I was imagining) said ‘Relax, we are taking you to the scanning room. You were fast asleep and the doctor suggested we move you along with the cot so as not to disturb you’!
The reason I was in the hospital; I was taken by surprise when I developed an unbearable pain in the back, discomfort, nausea. Our physician assumed it could be as simple as ‘Gastric’ and tried to treat. In spite of the 7-8 pain killing injections my pain did not subside. The doctors doubted it could be a renal stone and hence advised scanning. To cut this short, it was later diagnosed as colic and luckily for me it subsided without any medication or surgery (had it been worst!).
This incident was an eye opener in many ways. Firstly the blessing of ‘Life’ - to be alive! We hardly spend few minutes realizing how grateful, blessed we are to be with our dear and near ones. Nothing else matters more than that. When one becomes helpless, situations seem helpless, doctors seem helpless, family feels helpless, when all the options/doors seem closed, it is confusing and the worst just not ready to ‘ACCEPT’ the reality! That is scary! We all know that this ‘Life’ will come to an end one day, but it should never come ‘UNTIMELY’. We probably are here with a purpose. People who have been through this would agree about the Random thoughts or madness one faces at such situations! WHY ME? What harm did I do to anyone????? I have seen/heard about people in these situations but in reality had never faced something so close! I admit, I too questioned, WHY ME GOD? PLEASE HELP ME LORD! ……....and he did!
I consider myself and others who are out of such situations as very lucky and BLESSED! ‘LIFE’ is the biggest gift in this LIFE…time…..! A bonus when you have a loving family and great friends who walk with you! Having a decent and peaceful job, just got us luckier!!!! Never stop counting your blessings. Money, promotions, owning a house, car can never be compared to the gift of ‘LIFE’!!!!! It is easier said than done! Yeah, I am a human being, need money; want to own a house, not sure about promotions though (hmmm). But the realization that these material needs are not everything is of utmost important and should not be the sole goals or purpose in Life. A little bit of self realization, charity, honesty, empathy will make us more peaceful and a good human being………………… Life is the greatest Gift of all!
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Motor Gadi?
Wake up! We have reached Kalka! I heard my husband calling out and jumped out of the cozy 2 tier AC berth ! My son was still sleeping and holding onto to me. Yeah realized the train had stopped! We hurriedly unloaded the luggage and rushed to another platform where we had hopes of getting onto to the ‘Shivalik Express’ to reach Shimla!
Disappointed! We had overslept and missed the tickets! Anyways the next passenger train to Shimla was at 8.30 and we had nearly 2 hours before we boarded the train! We got our tickets, and luckily the train was at the platform by 7.30am. We got into the train and found comfortable seats ! My son went back to sleep!
We still had an hour. I was sitting by the window sipping hot tea, looking around and was pleasantly enjoying the happenings around (love doing it!). The train (toy train) got packed in sometime and I could see people arguing for seat /luggage place etc.
One old lady caught my attention. She entered our compartment; she looked old, frail, tired eyes, messed grey hair. She noticed that there was no vacant seat. She murmured something and squat at the compartment door blocking the way. At the scheduled time the train rolled out of the station, swinging (yes it swings ) and slowly the wheels moved over the narrow gauge rails! It was exciting! Cool breeze, fresh air…..it would be a lovely journey up the hill!
Coming back, the old lady at the door made herself more comfortable and lied down. This irritated a few people who were standing and they demanded that she either sit or stand so as not to cause inconvenience to the fellow passengers! One after the other the local people went on non-stop shouting at her! She did not reiterate. She slowly got up and sat. She had not spoken a word. There was one guy who did not stop at this…..he further abused her saying (this was in Hindi) “you should find a motor gadi (gadi meaning vehicle) separately for you where you can sleep and travel, people like you travel free of cost and are such a nuisance to others “! The old lady looked into his eyes and replied slowly (again in Hindi), “I do not need any motor vehicle and practically speaking so does anybody, as long as we all are alive we can travel by any motor gadi that suits our pockets, cycle, rikshaw, car, train or aeroplane. But remember at the end of our journey, we really are not sure what motor gadi God will provide us, we all will travel free of cost! Will there be a different class of motor gadi for different classes of people then? I thought that we all will travel in a similar gadi! Remember (yaad rakho ) Life itself is a journey and in what motor gadi one travels does not matter much as we all reach the same destination, ” I was dumb struck and so were a few others who heard and understood what she was saying!!!!
Her words were completely meaningful, we are surrounded with people fighting for luxury, comfort and cribbing for things that they do not have rather than spend a little more time in self realization, being good to others, sacrifice, sharing, charity, simplicity and above all being thankful for what we are blessed with!
I looked at her, she was sitting with her eyes shut and I remember she got down at a station mid way. Rest of the journey was pleasant, I was not cribbing that I missed the famous ‘Shivalik – Himalyan queen’ express. I enjoyed the passenger motor gadi which slowly but safely reached us to Shimla by late afternoon!
Disappointed! We had overslept and missed the tickets! Anyways the next passenger train to Shimla was at 8.30 and we had nearly 2 hours before we boarded the train! We got our tickets, and luckily the train was at the platform by 7.30am. We got into the train and found comfortable seats ! My son went back to sleep!
We still had an hour. I was sitting by the window sipping hot tea, looking around and was pleasantly enjoying the happenings around (love doing it!). The train (toy train) got packed in sometime and I could see people arguing for seat /luggage place etc.
One old lady caught my attention. She entered our compartment; she looked old, frail, tired eyes, messed grey hair. She noticed that there was no vacant seat. She murmured something and squat at the compartment door blocking the way. At the scheduled time the train rolled out of the station, swinging (yes it swings ) and slowly the wheels moved over the narrow gauge rails! It was exciting! Cool breeze, fresh air…..it would be a lovely journey up the hill!
Coming back, the old lady at the door made herself more comfortable and lied down. This irritated a few people who were standing and they demanded that she either sit or stand so as not to cause inconvenience to the fellow passengers! One after the other the local people went on non-stop shouting at her! She did not reiterate. She slowly got up and sat. She had not spoken a word. There was one guy who did not stop at this…..he further abused her saying (this was in Hindi) “you should find a motor gadi (gadi meaning vehicle) separately for you where you can sleep and travel, people like you travel free of cost and are such a nuisance to others “! The old lady looked into his eyes and replied slowly (again in Hindi), “I do not need any motor vehicle and practically speaking so does anybody, as long as we all are alive we can travel by any motor gadi that suits our pockets, cycle, rikshaw, car, train or aeroplane. But remember at the end of our journey, we really are not sure what motor gadi God will provide us, we all will travel free of cost! Will there be a different class of motor gadi for different classes of people then? I thought that we all will travel in a similar gadi! Remember (yaad rakho ) Life itself is a journey and in what motor gadi one travels does not matter much as we all reach the same destination, ” I was dumb struck and so were a few others who heard and understood what she was saying!!!!
Her words were completely meaningful, we are surrounded with people fighting for luxury, comfort and cribbing for things that they do not have rather than spend a little more time in self realization, being good to others, sacrifice, sharing, charity, simplicity and above all being thankful for what we are blessed with!
I looked at her, she was sitting with her eyes shut and I remember she got down at a station mid way. Rest of the journey was pleasant, I was not cribbing that I missed the famous ‘Shivalik – Himalyan queen’ express. I enjoyed the passenger motor gadi which slowly but safely reached us to Shimla by late afternoon!
Friday, September 3, 2010
Always Smiling!
She made it! She was the first runner up in the competition and was calling me from the venue! I wish I had accepted her invitation and been there for her, with her to enjoy that greatest moment of her career success! This was Preethi my dear friend who had just won at a regional competition (I am not getting into the details of the competition here)!
Knowing Preethi and her smartness let me tell you she is a born winner, always! I have seen her through thick and thin and never has she failed to amaze me with her versatility, talent, smartness and so much more. The biggest take away from Preethi is her smile and composure during the most stressed times of her life! Her attitude is what I like the most and believe that is what has made her so successful in Life today.
Preethi is like my little sister. She is like a child, chirpy, giggling, making fun, running around, bubbling with abundance energy that at times I wonder where she is rushing to! You just can’t stop her! She will call me and say “Guess what ? “ and that is the most dreaded question to me…..will tell you why …….the best guess is always, she got a promo, she is going on a vacation, yes, she is unpredictable, once she called to tell that she had her breakfast at Bangalore, Lunch at Mumbai and Dinner at Delhi! So will leave it to your wild imagination. If I do not hear one of the above, and if there is a long pause, then I know, she is terribly upset. She is going through some tough times on her personal life. Her hubby’s health is not so good (though he is very young) and there are ups and downs now and then. The tension gets over her and seeing her sob like a baby is something that I cannot accept. She is absolutely her strongest self inside but needs a shoulder to lean on at times! Once she has vented her sorrow, she is smiling again, with lots of hope, with ever before enthusiasm and approaching life with open hands, running around, smiling, giving her best and believing that it is upto her to keep herself happy, to make the best of everything in Life!
We had lunch together today where she was at her best, excited, explaining her triumph in the competition, looking forward to the international pagent! Her recent trip to the US of A! Never once throughout her conversation was she pessimist about anything! It was a joy seeing her smile big! In between I checked about her husband and her look was the answer, “Don’t bring it up now!”….. I feel bad for doing that reality check, I should not have! Anyways in a minute she was smiling, put it behind her saying……..”I have come to terms”, I have decided that I am going to given in my best in whatever I can, be it at home, office or spending quality time with my darling princess! It was good to see her smile and happy. Here is wishing her all the success, I know by heart she will win at the international competition! Wishing her miles and miles of smiles through her life!!!!
Knowing Preethi and her smartness let me tell you she is a born winner, always! I have seen her through thick and thin and never has she failed to amaze me with her versatility, talent, smartness and so much more. The biggest take away from Preethi is her smile and composure during the most stressed times of her life! Her attitude is what I like the most and believe that is what has made her so successful in Life today.
Preethi is like my little sister. She is like a child, chirpy, giggling, making fun, running around, bubbling with abundance energy that at times I wonder where she is rushing to! You just can’t stop her! She will call me and say “Guess what ? “ and that is the most dreaded question to me…..will tell you why …….the best guess is always, she got a promo, she is going on a vacation, yes, she is unpredictable, once she called to tell that she had her breakfast at Bangalore, Lunch at Mumbai and Dinner at Delhi! So will leave it to your wild imagination. If I do not hear one of the above, and if there is a long pause, then I know, she is terribly upset. She is going through some tough times on her personal life. Her hubby’s health is not so good (though he is very young) and there are ups and downs now and then. The tension gets over her and seeing her sob like a baby is something that I cannot accept. She is absolutely her strongest self inside but needs a shoulder to lean on at times! Once she has vented her sorrow, she is smiling again, with lots of hope, with ever before enthusiasm and approaching life with open hands, running around, smiling, giving her best and believing that it is upto her to keep herself happy, to make the best of everything in Life!
We had lunch together today where she was at her best, excited, explaining her triumph in the competition, looking forward to the international pagent! Her recent trip to the US of A! Never once throughout her conversation was she pessimist about anything! It was a joy seeing her smile big! In between I checked about her husband and her look was the answer, “Don’t bring it up now!”….. I feel bad for doing that reality check, I should not have! Anyways in a minute she was smiling, put it behind her saying……..”I have come to terms”, I have decided that I am going to given in my best in whatever I can, be it at home, office or spending quality time with my darling princess! It was good to see her smile and happy. Here is wishing her all the success, I know by heart she will win at the international competition! Wishing her miles and miles of smiles through her life!!!!
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Final Call
Varanasi. Also popularly known as Banaras (by old timers) and Kashi by many. I had always wanted to visit this city, the temples/mythological places that one would have read or heard. I have been fortunate enough to visit this place twice and look forward to visit again and again.
It is definitely one of the oldest cities in India as claimed! Personally, I find there is something holy about everything in that city that makes one want to go back. Something very spiritual for those who can associate with! I don’t know, but if you happen to get a chance, go check it out. If you come disappointed please do not blame me, but if you love the place as much as I do, then lets meet over a cup of coffee to cherish the experience!
There are a number of shrines. The ghats on the banks of the river ganges is a must visit. I am not penning a travelogue on Varanasi here. The most amusing and very factual experience at this place is that Life and death coexist very naturally here. While you are immersed in the beauty of the ganges flowing in all her gaiety you jump-up to the cries of ‘Ram Nam Satya Hai’ that is when you notice people carrying dead bodies to be cremated on the banks. It is considered that one attains mukthi/salvation/eternal bliss when they die at Kashi. This discussion can go on and on and become an interesting topic by itself.
What I experienced in Kashi other than the spiritual part (which I do not want to get into detail) is the most heart rendering scenes that I witnessed. All along the ghats and especially at the ‘Harishchandra and Manikarnika ghat’ I noticed very old people. They were lazily sitting in the sun, some were ill and others looked lost. The very reason for their existence was that they were breathing! There was nothing that one could read from their looks! They probably never spoke, never moved around – did they have the strength to? I was curious and checked with my guide as to who those people were and was taken aback at his reply “they are waiting to die”!!!!!!!
What? Waiting to die? I later learnt that these people are mostly abandoned in their old age due to their sickness, poverty and some who have made their way to Kashi to attain eternal bliss! I had never come across a set of very old people with an eagerness to die!!!!! What happened to their lives? How had they lived? Why did their children abandon them? The very thought was exhausting as I could not find an answer! It is unbelievable and painful to witness this sight! What a pity? They are poor, do not have the money to regain strenght. There are few local groups who provide food on some days to these sick and old people, visitors drop notes in their hands, but they do not seem beggers at all! They can hardly move! A look at some of them and you immediately pray that the person should not suffer any more, others are tired, may be with some food and care they would live longer, they don’t want to…… My silent prayer to the Lord…......May the almighty forgive all their sins……... they seem to be exhausted and all that they are waiting for is that Final call!
It is definitely one of the oldest cities in India as claimed! Personally, I find there is something holy about everything in that city that makes one want to go back. Something very spiritual for those who can associate with! I don’t know, but if you happen to get a chance, go check it out. If you come disappointed please do not blame me, but if you love the place as much as I do, then lets meet over a cup of coffee to cherish the experience!
There are a number of shrines. The ghats on the banks of the river ganges is a must visit. I am not penning a travelogue on Varanasi here. The most amusing and very factual experience at this place is that Life and death coexist very naturally here. While you are immersed in the beauty of the ganges flowing in all her gaiety you jump-up to the cries of ‘Ram Nam Satya Hai’ that is when you notice people carrying dead bodies to be cremated on the banks. It is considered that one attains mukthi/salvation/eternal bliss when they die at Kashi. This discussion can go on and on and become an interesting topic by itself.
What I experienced in Kashi other than the spiritual part (which I do not want to get into detail) is the most heart rendering scenes that I witnessed. All along the ghats and especially at the ‘Harishchandra and Manikarnika ghat’ I noticed very old people. They were lazily sitting in the sun, some were ill and others looked lost. The very reason for their existence was that they were breathing! There was nothing that one could read from their looks! They probably never spoke, never moved around – did they have the strength to? I was curious and checked with my guide as to who those people were and was taken aback at his reply “they are waiting to die”!!!!!!!
What? Waiting to die? I later learnt that these people are mostly abandoned in their old age due to their sickness, poverty and some who have made their way to Kashi to attain eternal bliss! I had never come across a set of very old people with an eagerness to die!!!!! What happened to their lives? How had they lived? Why did their children abandon them? The very thought was exhausting as I could not find an answer! It is unbelievable and painful to witness this sight! What a pity? They are poor, do not have the money to regain strenght. There are few local groups who provide food on some days to these sick and old people, visitors drop notes in their hands, but they do not seem beggers at all! They can hardly move! A look at some of them and you immediately pray that the person should not suffer any more, others are tired, may be with some food and care they would live longer, they don’t want to…… My silent prayer to the Lord…......May the almighty forgive all their sins……... they seem to be exhausted and all that they are waiting for is that Final call!
Friday, August 13, 2010
Sweet Dish on an unusual day!
By now, you would agree if I mentioned that I enjoy writing about real time experiences (I enjoy reading them too). Maybe because they are facts, people have been through them, you know them and can relate to them. Many a times there is food for thought when you read/hear about one’s experiences. However, these people might not be celebrities.
My father-in-law (will keep it FIL to make it type easy) is one such story teller (remind you, real time) I enjoy listening to him as much as he enjoys narrating them. My FIL has narrated the following incident to me at least a dozen times. Every time he narrates he is not sure if he has already narrated this to me earlier. I never mention to him that I have heard some incident many times. This incident is something that he can never forget, neither will I!
FIL grew-up in a big family. His father and brother were the only earning members. It was extremely difficult to have two square meals a day! Many days they slept starving. Temporary and small time Job opportunities were not many those days. His eldest brother was in a govt job, married. His brother started falling sick very often and the locally available doctors could not diagnose the problem. He pulled along deteriorating day after day. Unfortunately they did not have enough money to take him to a bigger city for better medical facilities.
After a lot of suffering, his brother died! It was the biggest shock to the family! He was very young, may be early 30’s, leaving behind his wife and a baby who was just a few months old. Adding to this, his father was retiring soon and this made the situation worse! While these thoughts were on everyone’s mind the irony was on the day his brother died they did not have enough money to afford transportation for his brother’s dead body to be shifted to the house so relatives and friends could pay respects. Most of the family and friends paid their last respects at the hospital.
With much difficulty my FIL’s father arranged some funds for the funeral and left the hospital to perform the final rites. The rest of the family members returned home inconsolable! It was late evening and after everyone had a bath, one of the neighbors offered some food to the children. Friends and relatives returned to their home. It was very late in the night when my FIL’s father returned home after performing his son’s last rites! No one spoke a word. He took bath, was very tired (he too was suffering from severe asthma!) and asked his wife for something to eat.
FIL’s mom had always been a brave lady. She put her sorrow behind, went into the kitchen and said would cook something to eat. It was no surprise; there was no rice, enough dhal, sevia, soji or anything that she could prepare food for her husband! She somehow managed to cook something and placed the food in front of her husband who was extremely sad, tired, sick and hungry! Everyone in the house was astonished seeing what she had just placed in front of their father! It was a payasam (sweet dish) made with just some jaggery and dhal!
There was utter silence. FIL’s father looked at the bowl and then at his wife. He did not know what to ask her? What would he? Why she cooked a sweet dish on the day their son had died? FIL’s mom was not crying anymore. Very softly she answered “this was all I could manage to cook with what was available at home today”…… FIL’s father lifted the bowl, drank very little. He did not say anything! Why did he drink the payasam? Maybe he did not want to disappoint his wife who had ignored her grief and gone all the way out to cook something for her husband who was hungry and tired? After sometime everyone retired to bed (or tried to catch some sleep). No one dared to discuss this incident amongst them! Everyone knew why their mom had cooked a sweet dish on such an unusual day! Was there a choice?
My father-in-law (will keep it FIL to make it type easy) is one such story teller (remind you, real time) I enjoy listening to him as much as he enjoys narrating them. My FIL has narrated the following incident to me at least a dozen times. Every time he narrates he is not sure if he has already narrated this to me earlier. I never mention to him that I have heard some incident many times. This incident is something that he can never forget, neither will I!
FIL grew-up in a big family. His father and brother were the only earning members. It was extremely difficult to have two square meals a day! Many days they slept starving. Temporary and small time Job opportunities were not many those days. His eldest brother was in a govt job, married. His brother started falling sick very often and the locally available doctors could not diagnose the problem. He pulled along deteriorating day after day. Unfortunately they did not have enough money to take him to a bigger city for better medical facilities.
After a lot of suffering, his brother died! It was the biggest shock to the family! He was very young, may be early 30’s, leaving behind his wife and a baby who was just a few months old. Adding to this, his father was retiring soon and this made the situation worse! While these thoughts were on everyone’s mind the irony was on the day his brother died they did not have enough money to afford transportation for his brother’s dead body to be shifted to the house so relatives and friends could pay respects. Most of the family and friends paid their last respects at the hospital.
With much difficulty my FIL’s father arranged some funds for the funeral and left the hospital to perform the final rites. The rest of the family members returned home inconsolable! It was late evening and after everyone had a bath, one of the neighbors offered some food to the children. Friends and relatives returned to their home. It was very late in the night when my FIL’s father returned home after performing his son’s last rites! No one spoke a word. He took bath, was very tired (he too was suffering from severe asthma!) and asked his wife for something to eat.
FIL’s mom had always been a brave lady. She put her sorrow behind, went into the kitchen and said would cook something to eat. It was no surprise; there was no rice, enough dhal, sevia, soji or anything that she could prepare food for her husband! She somehow managed to cook something and placed the food in front of her husband who was extremely sad, tired, sick and hungry! Everyone in the house was astonished seeing what she had just placed in front of their father! It was a payasam (sweet dish) made with just some jaggery and dhal!
There was utter silence. FIL’s father looked at the bowl and then at his wife. He did not know what to ask her? What would he? Why she cooked a sweet dish on the day their son had died? FIL’s mom was not crying anymore. Very softly she answered “this was all I could manage to cook with what was available at home today”…… FIL’s father lifted the bowl, drank very little. He did not say anything! Why did he drink the payasam? Maybe he did not want to disappoint his wife who had ignored her grief and gone all the way out to cook something for her husband who was hungry and tired? After sometime everyone retired to bed (or tried to catch some sleep). No one dared to discuss this incident amongst them! Everyone knew why their mom had cooked a sweet dish on such an unusual day! Was there a choice?
Monday, August 9, 2010
Meeting Mr.Ali!
It was Sunday. I woke up later than the usual time and was sipping my morning coffee when my father –in-law called me to his room and said one of his old colleagues, Mr. Ali would be visiting us around lunch time. I enquired if he was staying over for lunch, but then Mr. Ali was busy and would just have tea. I had never heard of Mr. Ali and stood there as my father-in-law continued to mention that he had worked with Mr. Ali for many years and their relationship was more than just ex-colleagues. I could see the eagerness to meet in my father-in-law’s face.
It was around lunch time. My father-in-law put on his white shirt, white dhoti (he is always dressed in white!) and walked slowly into the living room. After a hip fracture, my father-in-law requires support of a walker while walking. He was expecting Mr. Ali in the next half an hour. Fifteen minutes prior to the appointed time, the door bell rang, I opened the door and it was Mr. Ali.
The first thing that Mr. Ali did as soon as he saw my father-in-law was bend down, touched my father-in-law’s feet , my FIL lifted him and they hugged each other, hugged for a long time, yes, more than 2 minutes. All they spoke was call out each other’s names and hugged tight, I noticed tears in both their eyes. I was touched. I have never seen two friends; colleagues greet each other this way! They looked at each other and agreed that both of them had not changed much (healthy and strong) since the last time they met, I later realized it was 10 years since they had met! My father-in-law introduced my hubby, brother-in-law and me with so much affection and an introduction of where we worked, etc. etc My mother-in-law, suffering from severe arthritis made her way slowly to the living room to greet Mr. Ali. They exchanged pleasantries and my MIL said she was eager to meet Mrs.Ali sometime.
My father-in-law started the conversation introducing Mr. Ali, as his very old friend, ex-colleague (they worked together some 30 years back!) and that Mr. Ali was also an urdu poet. We also learnt that Mr. Ali was busy with translating the ‘Vachanas’ to urdu off late. He had also translated many Urdu writings to English and Kannada. He is currently teaching at a college during his free time. We were impressed! Mr. Ali in all humbleness was continuously in praise of my father-in-law for his help, support and guidance without which he would not have followed his passion for writing!
This meeting was one of the rarest of meetings I have ever seen. They reminisced so many incidents. They worked in the postal dept together. They discussed how punctuality, discipline and honesty were the values those days. During difficult times (both were not very well to do, lower middle class families). They had stood by each other. They fondly remembered their parents, family, friends, ex-colleagues who were no more.
They spoke for an hour. It was music to ears! In the entire conversation, never once did they crib about the difficult times they thrived through, bosses, finance, parents, in-laws. Everyone they knew was remembered with the utmost affection.
Their meeting was an eye opener to us! It was so natural, it was so humbling. Religions did not matter. Today, what we hear over coffee conversations , on lunch tables with colleagues is about a new flat that one is buying, the stocks, cribbing about work, work life balance, how irritating in-laws /parents/brothers/sisters are as they do not seem to understand how busy we are?!!!! Where are we leading to????? Will our relationships with colleagues turn into ever lasting friendships? I doubt, we do not call them after office hours fearing they might get offended as we are interfering in their personal time? Today, ‘Privacy’ is the thing! People do not want to discuss or say mix family and work. They are treated separately! Very rarely do we see friendships blossoming between colleagues. It is all about competition! Win-Win is on the foils! Else it is survival of the fittest??????????
It seemed we could listen to their conversation forever. Mr. Ali had to take leave. We touched his feet to seek his blessings. He thanked us for the hospitality and the affection. We hardly did anything other than offering a cup of tea! He promised to make a leisurely visit sometime (after all his book publishing work was done with). They once again hugged each other (yes 2 minutes or more), tears in their eyes, my father in law and Mr. Ali bid good bye to each other. I look forward to Mr. Ali’s next visit………………
It was around lunch time. My father-in-law put on his white shirt, white dhoti (he is always dressed in white!) and walked slowly into the living room. After a hip fracture, my father-in-law requires support of a walker while walking. He was expecting Mr. Ali in the next half an hour. Fifteen minutes prior to the appointed time, the door bell rang, I opened the door and it was Mr. Ali.
The first thing that Mr. Ali did as soon as he saw my father-in-law was bend down, touched my father-in-law’s feet , my FIL lifted him and they hugged each other, hugged for a long time, yes, more than 2 minutes. All they spoke was call out each other’s names and hugged tight, I noticed tears in both their eyes. I was touched. I have never seen two friends; colleagues greet each other this way! They looked at each other and agreed that both of them had not changed much (healthy and strong) since the last time they met, I later realized it was 10 years since they had met! My father-in-law introduced my hubby, brother-in-law and me with so much affection and an introduction of where we worked, etc. etc My mother-in-law, suffering from severe arthritis made her way slowly to the living room to greet Mr. Ali. They exchanged pleasantries and my MIL said she was eager to meet Mrs.Ali sometime.
My father-in-law started the conversation introducing Mr. Ali, as his very old friend, ex-colleague (they worked together some 30 years back!) and that Mr. Ali was also an urdu poet. We also learnt that Mr. Ali was busy with translating the ‘Vachanas’ to urdu off late. He had also translated many Urdu writings to English and Kannada. He is currently teaching at a college during his free time. We were impressed! Mr. Ali in all humbleness was continuously in praise of my father-in-law for his help, support and guidance without which he would not have followed his passion for writing!
This meeting was one of the rarest of meetings I have ever seen. They reminisced so many incidents. They worked in the postal dept together. They discussed how punctuality, discipline and honesty were the values those days. During difficult times (both were not very well to do, lower middle class families). They had stood by each other. They fondly remembered their parents, family, friends, ex-colleagues who were no more.
They spoke for an hour. It was music to ears! In the entire conversation, never once did they crib about the difficult times they thrived through, bosses, finance, parents, in-laws. Everyone they knew was remembered with the utmost affection.
Their meeting was an eye opener to us! It was so natural, it was so humbling. Religions did not matter. Today, what we hear over coffee conversations , on lunch tables with colleagues is about a new flat that one is buying, the stocks, cribbing about work, work life balance, how irritating in-laws /parents/brothers/sisters are as they do not seem to understand how busy we are?!!!! Where are we leading to????? Will our relationships with colleagues turn into ever lasting friendships? I doubt, we do not call them after office hours fearing they might get offended as we are interfering in their personal time? Today, ‘Privacy’ is the thing! People do not want to discuss or say mix family and work. They are treated separately! Very rarely do we see friendships blossoming between colleagues. It is all about competition! Win-Win is on the foils! Else it is survival of the fittest??????????
It seemed we could listen to their conversation forever. Mr. Ali had to take leave. We touched his feet to seek his blessings. He thanked us for the hospitality and the affection. We hardly did anything other than offering a cup of tea! He promised to make a leisurely visit sometime (after all his book publishing work was done with). They once again hugged each other (yes 2 minutes or more), tears in their eyes, my father in law and Mr. Ali bid good bye to each other. I look forward to Mr. Ali’s next visit………………
Friday, August 6, 2010
Walking is Good for the health and soul!
I am not a health freak. People who have known me will agree with it. Not that I do not make an effort, I hardly find any time with an 8 to 5 job, a naughty 4 year old and other commitments! OK, honestly the reason is ‘I do not make time’! I am sure with a little effort and planning I should be able to manage a 30 mt walk every day. So, as always, I will try to…………
The intention right now is not to debate on how I should manage my work schedule to make time for the 30 mt walk! Once in a while I do (smile – how nice) and take a 30 mt walk at a park in our locality. During such walks, I have come across different people and what I overheard during such walks is very interesting (I did not sneak or neither was curious, but overheard).
This park has a walking track, a play area for kids and some seating for people who want to relax. There is this group of 4-5 ladies, may be in their mid 60’s who seem to be regular for their evening walk. They walk at a medium pace, mostly blocking the way for other people and at times standing right in the middle of the track when something that they are discussing becomes very interesting or serious. I walk at a normal pace and at times have overheard their conversations. Their conversations are mostly centered on their daughter in law not treating them well! (nothing surprising!) or in other words sons no more respecting them, some relative who has been interfering in their family matters, money related issues (how the pension money is not sufficient for a decent livelihood these days), children not realizing the pain that the parents have taken and discussions on the recipes’ and the best known methods shared with pride are a learning (eg: I learnt that a particular south Indian dish – majjige huli – can be made with a few other vegetables and differently, will try some day!). At times, I notice that one of them is very depressed and the rest of them are consoling, advising in the best possible way to cheer-up the lady! I am sure that they eagerly look forward to this get-together and enjoy the 1 hour thoroughly more than the walk. Finally they settle down over a bench and return home! What makes me smile and think is, these ladies are lucky as they are a sounding board for each other (gossip apart), they make time to meet, plan shopping together, visit on one of them who is sick, motivate, argue, etc. etc. They live in their own world and seem to enjoy it so much! Life’s little pleasures and those that keep one going, walking... When I am at the park I literally search for this group, am I trying to discreetly hear them? no, but then I have realized many things being a listener…..
It’s just not these ladies, I have also overheard old men, walking very slowly passing remarks such as how bad the political situation is (excuse me, politics ! not interested), or why there are so many TV channels, how irritating some programs are etc etc and at times worried about their BP and sugar levels! Also, there was once this old man who went non stop about his visit to the USA where he stayed couple of months with his son and how impressed he was with the system and cleanliness! Later looked like their discussions took a different turn when his friend questioned him if his son would settle down in the USA or India? ……………………….I noticed he was not happy, he had stopped smiling, so guessed the answer! Sad! at times while the parents are proud of their children settled abroad, send sufficient money, provide all luxuries at home they still seem unhappy as they have no one to care for them or they miss their children whom they cannot relate much now due to the culture that they have adopted in the new country! Hmmmm………………
Then there are these couples (not young) who are either talking non-stop or absolutely silent (did they fight? Don’t know?) they are done with their 4-5 rounds of walk! Oh! Did I forget the younger generation! While it is so heartening to see how health conscious they are it is equally irritating to notice how annoyed they get when the track is blocked by the ladies (ref above) or some old people walking slowly. One young guy was jogging (notice his ipod, ear plugs etc) who blurted out one day “ Why do these old guys come here! All they do is block way for us! I almost wanted to stop him and give him a peace of mind, “Dear, where would these people walk? On the roads?”………..
Nevertheless, I enjoy these walks, I either do not have plans of changing to a much silent park! I love the conversations I overhear (I do not need an ipod J ), I have realized many things, most importantly, enjoy and value every day, how blessed we are! We need to understand feelings of our in-laws, parents! We will get old one day! at times I feel low and worried, those occasions when I notice a lady is depressed, an old man/lady walking alone lost deep in thoughts………don’t know what happened! All I can is pray and wish that they will soon feel better ………and let them keep walking……………..stay healthy and live life to the fullest!
The intention right now is not to debate on how I should manage my work schedule to make time for the 30 mt walk! Once in a while I do (smile – how nice) and take a 30 mt walk at a park in our locality. During such walks, I have come across different people and what I overheard during such walks is very interesting (I did not sneak or neither was curious, but overheard).
This park has a walking track, a play area for kids and some seating for people who want to relax. There is this group of 4-5 ladies, may be in their mid 60’s who seem to be regular for their evening walk. They walk at a medium pace, mostly blocking the way for other people and at times standing right in the middle of the track when something that they are discussing becomes very interesting or serious. I walk at a normal pace and at times have overheard their conversations. Their conversations are mostly centered on their daughter in law not treating them well! (nothing surprising!) or in other words sons no more respecting them, some relative who has been interfering in their family matters, money related issues (how the pension money is not sufficient for a decent livelihood these days), children not realizing the pain that the parents have taken and discussions on the recipes’ and the best known methods shared with pride are a learning (eg: I learnt that a particular south Indian dish – majjige huli – can be made with a few other vegetables and differently, will try some day!). At times, I notice that one of them is very depressed and the rest of them are consoling, advising in the best possible way to cheer-up the lady! I am sure that they eagerly look forward to this get-together and enjoy the 1 hour thoroughly more than the walk. Finally they settle down over a bench and return home! What makes me smile and think is, these ladies are lucky as they are a sounding board for each other (gossip apart), they make time to meet, plan shopping together, visit on one of them who is sick, motivate, argue, etc. etc. They live in their own world and seem to enjoy it so much! Life’s little pleasures and those that keep one going, walking... When I am at the park I literally search for this group, am I trying to discreetly hear them? no, but then I have realized many things being a listener…..
It’s just not these ladies, I have also overheard old men, walking very slowly passing remarks such as how bad the political situation is (excuse me, politics ! not interested), or why there are so many TV channels, how irritating some programs are etc etc and at times worried about their BP and sugar levels! Also, there was once this old man who went non stop about his visit to the USA where he stayed couple of months with his son and how impressed he was with the system and cleanliness! Later looked like their discussions took a different turn when his friend questioned him if his son would settle down in the USA or India? ……………………….I noticed he was not happy, he had stopped smiling, so guessed the answer! Sad! at times while the parents are proud of their children settled abroad, send sufficient money, provide all luxuries at home they still seem unhappy as they have no one to care for them or they miss their children whom they cannot relate much now due to the culture that they have adopted in the new country! Hmmmm………………
Then there are these couples (not young) who are either talking non-stop or absolutely silent (did they fight? Don’t know?) they are done with their 4-5 rounds of walk! Oh! Did I forget the younger generation! While it is so heartening to see how health conscious they are it is equally irritating to notice how annoyed they get when the track is blocked by the ladies (ref above) or some old people walking slowly. One young guy was jogging (notice his ipod, ear plugs etc) who blurted out one day “ Why do these old guys come here! All they do is block way for us! I almost wanted to stop him and give him a peace of mind, “Dear, where would these people walk? On the roads?”………..
Nevertheless, I enjoy these walks, I either do not have plans of changing to a much silent park! I love the conversations I overhear (I do not need an ipod J ), I have realized many things, most importantly, enjoy and value every day, how blessed we are! We need to understand feelings of our in-laws, parents! We will get old one day! at times I feel low and worried, those occasions when I notice a lady is depressed, an old man/lady walking alone lost deep in thoughts………don’t know what happened! All I can is pray and wish that they will soon feel better ………and let them keep walking……………..stay healthy and live life to the fullest!
Life's Lessons!
Reading Biographies, life experiences of great men/women has always interested and inspired me. There is a sumptuous spread of food for thought. It also makes one realize being true to self and others is so simple but in reality very difficult and over and above to follow those principles and disciplines in life a bigger challenge! There are stories of great men /women who have achieved something significant in their lifetime! Their achievement and stories reach the masses and people try to follow their footsteps and imbibe the learning’s as they tread the path along.
Having said this, there are unsung heroes that one comes across in life. These heroes have taught one the meaning of life and are a true role model in their own way .
Going down the memory lane I remember what my VP in a previous company mentioned. His father was in a highly paid job. His mom was doctor. They had all the luxuries in life, a palacial bunglow, servants, full time maids, two cars, drivers and every thing. As kids, they (VP and his brothers) enjoyed life and childhood. When they passed out the 10th grade and entered colleges their father got them enrolled in a typewriting learning school! These brothers were embarrassed, they would not be typists or secretaries or clerks, they had enrolled to courses of their choice in good colleges and the last they needed was to learn typewriting!!!! But they had no excuse and father was very particular of them learning typing. With much hesitation and humiliation (friends made fun of them) they attended the classes for a year until they were pretty good at typing! This was forgotten as they graduated from business school, joined good companies like their dad and kick started a wonderful career. Once they (all brothers) were settled over a family lunch, one of them dared to ask the long forgotten humiliation their dad had summoned them to and he gathered all courage to do so and asked ‘Dad, why did you insist us to learn typing, it was very humiliating then but now we have put it behind !’. Dad’s answer was very humble and simple ‘Sons, I am sorry, I had to do it, all of you were brought-up in luxury and enjoyed everything in life, When you entered college there were two chances either you would do extremely well in your studies and excel in your career or you get into bad company , college drop out! As parents we had no time to track you as we were busy with our own career. Luckily you all excelled and have made us proud. What if ?... had you been a looser! All this wealth and fame are temporary, the least you would have had is basic education and a skill that would help you earn your livelihood! By the way, I too learnt typing and pretty proud that I can type faster without any errors compared to other VP’s and manager’s in my company!” My secretary is very proud of me as I do not bother her for simple letters and I understand her work”. They were dumb struck. The learning, we need to do a reality check in life and prepare ourselves to lead a simple and contended life when life demands or brings us to such situations. Wealth is not everything! Secondly, you need to practice before you master a skill! Most important, do not get humiliated or look down on people who do little jobs. Be happy that they have a job and the satisfaction that they are not depending on anybody! Respect all! A lesson well learnt?
In the last 15 years of my career, I have had the privilege to work with some great VP’s like the one I mentioned above, directors, managers and colleagues. I was hardly 20 then when I worked for one manager in a private company. The very first day my colleagues scared me saying that I would have a tough time working under him as he was a very irritable person. Irritable he was, he always found mistakes at anything and everything. He would point out mistakes like there is no comma in the date that you typed (who looked at the comma!), the English is not right, the letter alignment is not good and so on. I would get very frustrated and angry and curse my luck for working with him. He once asked me to file a pile of papers and just before that had yelled at me for some mistake in the letter. I was furious and forgetting my training on filing letters, punched the papers randomly and placed the file on his desk and turned around. My face was red with anger! The next minute I remember is the file flying out of his cabin over me and all the papers landed on the floor! Only one colleague of mine was present and he did not know what to say and walked away! I was scared, I did not know what to do next! I realized my mistake and at the same time felt why should he throw the file?!!! How rude!!!! Anyways, I silently picked the letters and filed them neatly and decided that I would resign the very next day! Later over coffee, when I met my colleague who had witnessed it I broke down and told him of my decision of quitting the company. He convinced me that this person/manger was a very good human being and probably was testing me since he had very bad experience from the previous support staff.
Don’t know what happened to my manager next day. He called me and the colleague (who had witnessed the episode previous day) to his cabin, gave some prasadam (he was a very religious person), asked us to sit down and put the same file in front of me! Oh No! what next? Is there a better way to file things? What am I going to face now? Thoughts were running in my mind and believe me, I was shivering. I was scared. There was silence, I did not open the file, just stared at it. He broke the silence, he said ‘Kanna (means child in Tamil), I am sorry, please forgive me for being so rude to you yesterday, I behaved very badly with you, before apologizing to you, I went to the temple this morning and apologized to the Lord for behaving so badly with you’!!! What was I hearing, was I dreaming, I could not lift my face, the whole night I had wept as I had been humiliated so badly, I had decided to quit but was not sure as I was supporting my family with the earnings and my father was happy for that. I cried and cried loudly, I had not vented my feelings until then! I looked at him and said ‘Sir, please don’t say sorry, I too made many mistakes yesterday and behaved arrogantly by not doing my job correctly! (I had shown my anger on him by not filing the papers properly) He replied “I know you are a beautiful little child, I am also sure that you are very intelligent and will excel in your career, but what I realize is, you are not serious, you need to be more attentive and have an eye for detail when you do things, I know you will over come these, but, when I guide or someone calls out the mistakes, people will learn better, I treat you like my daughter (he already had 3 daughters) and want to see the best in my child, go now and don’t cry, what will you have for lunch, lets go and eat Noodles, I know you love noodles!”….. I left the cabin crying. I will never forget that day in my life. Lesson, never judge a person on the go, never hate a person who guides or corrects you, only those who really love and care for you, call out your mistakes or stop you from doing blunders. He was one such, he was and is my God father till today!
I have learnt so much from him, he taught me the basics of office administration, about check lists, keeping reminders, competing tasks on time, confessing when at fault and so much more. After working 3 years with him, he one day asked me to start looking out for better jobs that now he was confident that I would do better in bigger companies. He even took me to an interview at an MNC, conducted mock interviews! I got the job and with a very heavy heart had to bid good bye to him. He taught me what was win-win in the real sense. Punctuality and discipline, I learnt from him…..hats off to him……I am still in touch with him and every time I win an award or get a promotion he feels so proud of me and says, ‘I know it, my kanna is a smart girl!’……………………….. He never held back people, he trained them, disciplined them (a teacher!) and let them free, most of them who have worked under him are doing well in their career and thank him for all his guidance! Never crib if you have a disciplinarian boss, cause such bosses are always right! You learn from them……………..
Having said this, there are unsung heroes that one comes across in life. These heroes have taught one the meaning of life and are a true role model in their own way .
Going down the memory lane I remember what my VP in a previous company mentioned. His father was in a highly paid job. His mom was doctor. They had all the luxuries in life, a palacial bunglow, servants, full time maids, two cars, drivers and every thing. As kids, they (VP and his brothers) enjoyed life and childhood. When they passed out the 10th grade and entered colleges their father got them enrolled in a typewriting learning school! These brothers were embarrassed, they would not be typists or secretaries or clerks, they had enrolled to courses of their choice in good colleges and the last they needed was to learn typewriting!!!! But they had no excuse and father was very particular of them learning typing. With much hesitation and humiliation (friends made fun of them) they attended the classes for a year until they were pretty good at typing! This was forgotten as they graduated from business school, joined good companies like their dad and kick started a wonderful career. Once they (all brothers) were settled over a family lunch, one of them dared to ask the long forgotten humiliation their dad had summoned them to and he gathered all courage to do so and asked ‘Dad, why did you insist us to learn typing, it was very humiliating then but now we have put it behind !’. Dad’s answer was very humble and simple ‘Sons, I am sorry, I had to do it, all of you were brought-up in luxury and enjoyed everything in life, When you entered college there were two chances either you would do extremely well in your studies and excel in your career or you get into bad company , college drop out! As parents we had no time to track you as we were busy with our own career. Luckily you all excelled and have made us proud. What if ?... had you been a looser! All this wealth and fame are temporary, the least you would have had is basic education and a skill that would help you earn your livelihood! By the way, I too learnt typing and pretty proud that I can type faster without any errors compared to other VP’s and manager’s in my company!” My secretary is very proud of me as I do not bother her for simple letters and I understand her work”. They were dumb struck. The learning, we need to do a reality check in life and prepare ourselves to lead a simple and contended life when life demands or brings us to such situations. Wealth is not everything! Secondly, you need to practice before you master a skill! Most important, do not get humiliated or look down on people who do little jobs. Be happy that they have a job and the satisfaction that they are not depending on anybody! Respect all! A lesson well learnt?
In the last 15 years of my career, I have had the privilege to work with some great VP’s like the one I mentioned above, directors, managers and colleagues. I was hardly 20 then when I worked for one manager in a private company. The very first day my colleagues scared me saying that I would have a tough time working under him as he was a very irritable person. Irritable he was, he always found mistakes at anything and everything. He would point out mistakes like there is no comma in the date that you typed (who looked at the comma!), the English is not right, the letter alignment is not good and so on. I would get very frustrated and angry and curse my luck for working with him. He once asked me to file a pile of papers and just before that had yelled at me for some mistake in the letter. I was furious and forgetting my training on filing letters, punched the papers randomly and placed the file on his desk and turned around. My face was red with anger! The next minute I remember is the file flying out of his cabin over me and all the papers landed on the floor! Only one colleague of mine was present and he did not know what to say and walked away! I was scared, I did not know what to do next! I realized my mistake and at the same time felt why should he throw the file?!!! How rude!!!! Anyways, I silently picked the letters and filed them neatly and decided that I would resign the very next day! Later over coffee, when I met my colleague who had witnessed it I broke down and told him of my decision of quitting the company. He convinced me that this person/manger was a very good human being and probably was testing me since he had very bad experience from the previous support staff.
Don’t know what happened to my manager next day. He called me and the colleague (who had witnessed the episode previous day) to his cabin, gave some prasadam (he was a very religious person), asked us to sit down and put the same file in front of me! Oh No! what next? Is there a better way to file things? What am I going to face now? Thoughts were running in my mind and believe me, I was shivering. I was scared. There was silence, I did not open the file, just stared at it. He broke the silence, he said ‘Kanna (means child in Tamil), I am sorry, please forgive me for being so rude to you yesterday, I behaved very badly with you, before apologizing to you, I went to the temple this morning and apologized to the Lord for behaving so badly with you’!!! What was I hearing, was I dreaming, I could not lift my face, the whole night I had wept as I had been humiliated so badly, I had decided to quit but was not sure as I was supporting my family with the earnings and my father was happy for that. I cried and cried loudly, I had not vented my feelings until then! I looked at him and said ‘Sir, please don’t say sorry, I too made many mistakes yesterday and behaved arrogantly by not doing my job correctly! (I had shown my anger on him by not filing the papers properly) He replied “I know you are a beautiful little child, I am also sure that you are very intelligent and will excel in your career, but what I realize is, you are not serious, you need to be more attentive and have an eye for detail when you do things, I know you will over come these, but, when I guide or someone calls out the mistakes, people will learn better, I treat you like my daughter (he already had 3 daughters) and want to see the best in my child, go now and don’t cry, what will you have for lunch, lets go and eat Noodles, I know you love noodles!”….. I left the cabin crying. I will never forget that day in my life. Lesson, never judge a person on the go, never hate a person who guides or corrects you, only those who really love and care for you, call out your mistakes or stop you from doing blunders. He was one such, he was and is my God father till today!
I have learnt so much from him, he taught me the basics of office administration, about check lists, keeping reminders, competing tasks on time, confessing when at fault and so much more. After working 3 years with him, he one day asked me to start looking out for better jobs that now he was confident that I would do better in bigger companies. He even took me to an interview at an MNC, conducted mock interviews! I got the job and with a very heavy heart had to bid good bye to him. He taught me what was win-win in the real sense. Punctuality and discipline, I learnt from him…..hats off to him……I am still in touch with him and every time I win an award or get a promotion he feels so proud of me and says, ‘I know it, my kanna is a smart girl!’……………………….. He never held back people, he trained them, disciplined them (a teacher!) and let them free, most of them who have worked under him are doing well in their career and thank him for all his guidance! Never crib if you have a disciplinarian boss, cause such bosses are always right! You learn from them……………..
Rain Rain Go Away!
Its raining outside, the very thought of bajjis and samosas, a warm blanket makes me smile! WoW! That’s life! Suddenly my thoughts drift away and reminds me of those who live in houses where it rains inside! Yes, I have seen a few of them. I remember this episode each time it rains.
Story telling……….pls bear with me !
A long time ago, maybe some nearly 20 years! I was a kid then. There was this family, our immediate neighbour and I knew them. This couple had 4 children, 2 boys and 2 girls. Their dad was a wonderful person, very humorous, he had some govt job and the aunt was a home maker, a very pious lady. They lived in their so called own house! Why I call it so called you will get to know as you read along. Just by themselves. Being the only earning member of the family, uncle tried hard to make ends meet, although he was so sweet and a gentleman he had a problem, hmmm, he could not get rid of his drinking habit. He did not harm anyone, he never beat anyone, never humiliated his wife or children. Each day, every single day of the year I noticed from the window in my room (where I studied), he went out around 7pm in the evening. I remember he returned only by 9.30 or 10pm. When he returned he walked in slow paces, very obvious he was drunk and probably went to sleep. I never heard any fights (as is normal). Their daughter was my friend, a good friend and I could sense that she was embarrassed by her father as I had questioned her why none in the family made any efforts to stop his drinking.
Back on track, it was monsoons, sometime mid July and rained every day. I walked to school with this friend, as every other day, I waited outside my friend’s house. It had poured the previous night and I had enjoyed my sleep warmly tucked in my blanket and was so excited when I woke-up that morning. I wanted to check with my friend if she enjoyed her sleep as much as I did during the downpour. She did not come out at the usual time and I knocked at the door. She answered the door and I stepped in, stepped into a pool of water! Did they spill water, a bucket ? no it seemed like ten buckets of water in their veranda!......my friend was not ready in her school uniform and I noticed she looked real tired, She had a mopping cloth in her hand and a bucket to which she squeezed the water into. My eyes rolled over and I noticed that the adjacent two rooms were damp and I realized that they were just mopped by her mom who continued to do so and did not notice my arrival! I was dumb struck and simply stood there like a rock not knowing how to react? My friend had never mentioned this to me! I realized that the ceiling, their entire house, except for one corner in their living room leaked! It rained inside even after the rains stopped outside……… I offered to help her, but she flashed her sweet smile and said it was OK and she was used to it!!!! I walked away slowly with a heavy heart…….hundreds of thoughts on my mind, why could they not fix the house? They did not afford the costs?....uncle could have saved money instead of drinking and made lives easier………………..few days later, when we met she mentioned to me that this was the routine when it rained ! She did not like the rains, no one in their family did!
What truly kept me wondering is that my friend never ever complained of her situation. She was a very optimistic person and when I asked her why she never cribbed about this she answered ‘ We have a roof on top of our head, what about others who do not have even that’? she also joked about it saying that after the house was mopped and cleaned, guests exclaimed ‘Wow, your house is so cool, its like having A/C all the time’ and everyone in the house smiled and within prayed “Rain, Rain go away!”
Well, to cut this short, my friend is doing good now, her dad is no more, I am still in touch with her, she is married, has a sweet son, a very loving and humorous husband, she takes care of her mom………they live in a rented but safe house, well she is constructing her own house and she mentioned to me and will ensure that it will never rain inside her house!!!!!!
Story telling……….pls bear with me !
A long time ago, maybe some nearly 20 years! I was a kid then. There was this family, our immediate neighbour and I knew them. This couple had 4 children, 2 boys and 2 girls. Their dad was a wonderful person, very humorous, he had some govt job and the aunt was a home maker, a very pious lady. They lived in their so called own house! Why I call it so called you will get to know as you read along. Just by themselves. Being the only earning member of the family, uncle tried hard to make ends meet, although he was so sweet and a gentleman he had a problem, hmmm, he could not get rid of his drinking habit. He did not harm anyone, he never beat anyone, never humiliated his wife or children. Each day, every single day of the year I noticed from the window in my room (where I studied), he went out around 7pm in the evening. I remember he returned only by 9.30 or 10pm. When he returned he walked in slow paces, very obvious he was drunk and probably went to sleep. I never heard any fights (as is normal). Their daughter was my friend, a good friend and I could sense that she was embarrassed by her father as I had questioned her why none in the family made any efforts to stop his drinking.
Back on track, it was monsoons, sometime mid July and rained every day. I walked to school with this friend, as every other day, I waited outside my friend’s house. It had poured the previous night and I had enjoyed my sleep warmly tucked in my blanket and was so excited when I woke-up that morning. I wanted to check with my friend if she enjoyed her sleep as much as I did during the downpour. She did not come out at the usual time and I knocked at the door. She answered the door and I stepped in, stepped into a pool of water! Did they spill water, a bucket ? no it seemed like ten buckets of water in their veranda!......my friend was not ready in her school uniform and I noticed she looked real tired, She had a mopping cloth in her hand and a bucket to which she squeezed the water into. My eyes rolled over and I noticed that the adjacent two rooms were damp and I realized that they were just mopped by her mom who continued to do so and did not notice my arrival! I was dumb struck and simply stood there like a rock not knowing how to react? My friend had never mentioned this to me! I realized that the ceiling, their entire house, except for one corner in their living room leaked! It rained inside even after the rains stopped outside……… I offered to help her, but she flashed her sweet smile and said it was OK and she was used to it!!!! I walked away slowly with a heavy heart…….hundreds of thoughts on my mind, why could they not fix the house? They did not afford the costs?....uncle could have saved money instead of drinking and made lives easier………………..few days later, when we met she mentioned to me that this was the routine when it rained ! She did not like the rains, no one in their family did!
What truly kept me wondering is that my friend never ever complained of her situation. She was a very optimistic person and when I asked her why she never cribbed about this she answered ‘ We have a roof on top of our head, what about others who do not have even that’? she also joked about it saying that after the house was mopped and cleaned, guests exclaimed ‘Wow, your house is so cool, its like having A/C all the time’ and everyone in the house smiled and within prayed “Rain, Rain go away!”
Well, to cut this short, my friend is doing good now, her dad is no more, I am still in touch with her, she is married, has a sweet son, a very loving and humorous husband, she takes care of her mom………they live in a rented but safe house, well she is constructing her own house and she mentioned to me and will ensure that it will never rain inside her house!!!!!!
History Book!
I am sad with what happened in the last 1 week. Three people whom I have known well passed away. It is hard to believe that the person/people are no more. Hmmm, you will never get to see them on occasions. They will never call you and so will you. They get into history, history of life. Maybe into the chapters of our lives.
History, not the history we studied in school nor some great personality’s history. Our very own, each one of us have a history. Hope you do agree with me. This is that history book that I am referring to which relieves a lot about oneself. It is not written anywhere nor the events recorded. Oh yes, some events are recorded, happy occasions, milestones in life, birth, marriage etc., but the painful events are not. They remain in those pages.
As kids, this book is not heavy as those school bags. The book is light and we don’t realize we have one. But then, as years roll by, suddenly you start realizing that the book is getting heavier. Additional pages get added. Some pages buried deep down. But they are there. This book is so neatly organized in comparison to the things we organize at home or office. The chapters are evident. They talk about YOU, your memories, your likes and dislikes, listings of people whom you love, miss and so on. But then there is this addendum to this history book which also tags along in the memory shelf. This addendum is about the current and that of hopes, wishes and ambitions in this life. The inner self carries both of them. We refer back to history when we are in the current and attach our dreams to chapters in the addendum. We try our best to make this addendum as neat, as beautiful and colorful as possible, day in and day out and as we tread along, the pages from the addendum get into the history book. Confusing……….but amusing right?
Some events and happenings are not in our hands, but still for those that are we should make an honest attempt to make it truthful, faithful and colourful,it is our book, our life.... As Swami Vivekananda said, " We are responsible for what we are, and whatever we wish ourselves to be, we have the power to make ourselves. If what we are now has been the result of our own past actions, it certainly follows that whatever we wish to be in future can be produced by our present actions; so we have to know how to act".
History, not the history we studied in school nor some great personality’s history. Our very own, each one of us have a history. Hope you do agree with me. This is that history book that I am referring to which relieves a lot about oneself. It is not written anywhere nor the events recorded. Oh yes, some events are recorded, happy occasions, milestones in life, birth, marriage etc., but the painful events are not. They remain in those pages.
As kids, this book is not heavy as those school bags. The book is light and we don’t realize we have one. But then, as years roll by, suddenly you start realizing that the book is getting heavier. Additional pages get added. Some pages buried deep down. But they are there. This book is so neatly organized in comparison to the things we organize at home or office. The chapters are evident. They talk about YOU, your memories, your likes and dislikes, listings of people whom you love, miss and so on. But then there is this addendum to this history book which also tags along in the memory shelf. This addendum is about the current and that of hopes, wishes and ambitions in this life. The inner self carries both of them. We refer back to history when we are in the current and attach our dreams to chapters in the addendum. We try our best to make this addendum as neat, as beautiful and colorful as possible, day in and day out and as we tread along, the pages from the addendum get into the history book. Confusing……….but amusing right?
Some events and happenings are not in our hands, but still for those that are we should make an honest attempt to make it truthful, faithful and colourful,it is our book, our life.... As Swami Vivekananda said, " We are responsible for what we are, and whatever we wish ourselves to be, we have the power to make ourselves. If what we are now has been the result of our own past actions, it certainly follows that whatever we wish to be in future can be produced by our present actions; so we have to know how to act".
Do you Have a Radio in your House?
The day started off on a normal or rather let me say a routine note except that Ravi, my hubby did not drop me to the office shuttle pick-up point. He was fast asleep and I did not feel like waking him up. Honestly, my little one woke with a cough at 3am and did not go back to sleep and my hubby engaged him letting me catch-up on my sleep. How sweet! Good, I did not lose my cool, I had to rush the last few minutes and catch an auto to reach my pick-up point. Well, I did time manage well and reached about nearly 10 minutes early. What made me pen happenings of today’s morning will follow later (BTW, its still morning 9am now J).
I wait every day at this pick-up point for almost more than a year now in Malleswaram . It is surprising to note how other people’s timelines or every day routines that act a check point to my timelines and daily routine. For eg., The DPS North Bus that waits to pick-up 2 school children and leaves sharp at 7.20, the HP office shuttle at almost the same time, the doctor (my guess) probably a professor at Vaidehi College of Medical Sciences who boards the college bus at 7.20. His wife drops him in their Maroon Maruti and at times he comes by auto (probably his wife was busy J ), The Blue ‘Star Bus’, yeah that is what is written on it! Don’t know which company , but zooms past at 7.20, the person at the window with his collar neck in the 3rd seat (on the left) who is fast asleep, his specs at the end of his nose (blessed are those who can sleep in the office shuttle, I am one and know what a wonderful nap it is while commuting to and fro, though these days I don’t sleep, reason being busy talking to my friend/colleague Umi ). The list does not stop here, the 3 aunties (must be in their 60’s), returning from their morning walk. I must say, they are so graceful, neat, beautiful with their pastel colored sweaters or lovely chawls and oh the ‘Nike’ and ‘Adidas Shoes’. Probably their children are in the US!!!!!!! Yes, I have seen that most parents who have kids in the US take a liking to these branded stuff. I look forward everyday to smile and they return a warm smile. Haven’t spoken to them yet. Maybe one of these days I will get to talk to them J. The office manager, the lady who works at the famous Cardiologist’s clinic. She really has a long work day. From 7.30am through 7.30-8pm everyday!.......she walks very slowly, must be enjoying the morning cool air and noticing how the street transforms from a silent, cool morning to a busy rustling street when she returns home! I forgot to mention, the place where I board the bus has a couple of apartments around though it is in on a very busy street with other offices, clinic, playground, a school, few shops and hotel.
And now to the most interesting part and the very reason that made me write today……………….There is this old couple, yeah must be in their early or mid 70’s who also return from their morning walk everyday at the same time – 7.20am. They are very slow paced with both of them holding a walking stick in their hand. They are careful with every step, pushing the tiny stones in their way with their walking sticks and ensure that they place their feet firm. However, the old man walks slightly faster than the old lady and stops and waits for her to catch-up. At times, he is giving her a heads-up (ha ha our office language) and warns her about a bigger stone that will not move with a whack of their stick forcing them to go around it L, a small water /mud patch or a big vehicle coming behind her. She carefully follows his instructions and catches-up speed with him and after 2, 3 steps he walks faster and again she lags behind and the same sequence repeats until they reach the point where I wait for my shuttle. She looks-up and gives me one of the most warmest smiles I ever get or have ever seen. Well, it is so hard to see someone look into your eyes and smile these days! At office, in hallways there are a number of colleagues who definitely can exchange smiles with, but people are rather lost in their own world or do not want to make any eye contact!!!!!! This irritates me!....Smile please, it increases your face value J.
Again let me get on track, I can imagine that it is an honest and such a genuine and lovely gesture of this old lady. I will stick to calling her old lady until further. She puts in effort to do this every day given that she is concentrating on her steps, watching for vehicles, mud/water patches. She has to completely stop, place her walking stick on safe ground, ensure she is standing in a safe corner of the road and then lift her head and give me her best SMILE. It never occurred to me until today that she is putting in effort to just repeat this gesture. But today, somehow it did. She had never spoken to me until today. All that she did was Smile, take a minute’s rest and continue to reach her apartment about 50 steps away……. Today, everything until she smiled was the same, after that she did not walk by, she looked at me and asked me “Do you have a Radio in your house?”……Imagine, a complete stranger, no I don’t want to call her a stranger, I have seen her for months now. I said “Yes, I do have”, but then there was a huge rush of thoughts that flooded my mind (why is she asking me this? Does she mistake me for someone? and so on……………….). She continued, very softly, “Do you work on Saturday’s or do you work half day on Saturday’s? Again, to this I answered – “No, I don’t work on Saturday’s, ours is a 5 day week office” (I was blank and no clue why she was asking me these vague questions) and my shuttle would come in any minute, it was 7.22….. I was anxious and in a hurry to know what she really wanted to tell me………………..she said (all this was in Kannada) “I am so happy, you have an off tomorrow, can you keep a reminder (again my mind, reminder for what, pls?) to hear to a drama on the AIR Bangalore station at 2.30pm tmorrow, do you know the story was written by me some 25 years back. Please make time to listen to it and let your family and friends know about the program” and she continued “ Back then, I used to write a lot of dramas, stories, was into literature and in particular the drama that is being aired tomorrow was published as a weekly serial in one of the famous kannada weekly magazines those days”, “My name is Pankaja, I was known as N. Pankaja and only recently I have started writing my full name Nugenahalli Pankaja”….. I was awestruck! If she had not mentioned this to me today, I would have never known. I was touched when she further said “ I know that people don’t listen to Radio anymore these days, in fact I got myself a transistor yesterday! – request you to kindly listen to the drama, it is a fun drama and being directed by a famous dramatist – Yamuna Murthy”. All that I could reply to her was “ Sure Madam, it is an honour to meet someone like you, I shall definitely listen to the drama and I am more than happy and thank you so much for talking to me today”……….To this she said, “ You are a smart girl, I have been noticing you everyday (donno what smartness she saw in me J ), I always wanted to say hello to you, felt happy after talking to you, I am not the same energetic lady I used to be, I am recovering from a heart problem, I will look forward to your review and comments on my drama” and to this all I could tell her was “I do not have the knowledge, please madam you are so modest”…. By this time, her hubby was wondering why she did not move and was checking with the watchman of the flat…………………It was 7.25 and I could see my shuttle turn in the corner of the road and I asked her to go carefully once again thanking her and bidding her bye, take care…………………………………….
This indeed is one of the most beautiful way the day has started…………………Hundreds of other thoughts coming in. Will write again, after I listen to the drama and meet her…………………..
I am sorry, if I took too much of your time. Let me be honest, this is the first effort to write something, today I wanted to and more than treasure and save it!...................thank you for taking time to read this……………………Have a wonderful day!...................................G3
Folks, sorry for the delayed update. Apparently, I could not listen to the drama. but, I did meet Mrs. Pankaja and she mentioned that those who listened to her drama called back and said it was good. She did not sound convincing as the director was not successful in dramatizing the way Mrs. Pankaja would have! Well, I dont get to meet her these days (my shuttle route changed). But look forward to staying in touch with her...................
I wait every day at this pick-up point for almost more than a year now in Malleswaram . It is surprising to note how other people’s timelines or every day routines that act a check point to my timelines and daily routine. For eg., The DPS North Bus that waits to pick-up 2 school children and leaves sharp at 7.20, the HP office shuttle at almost the same time, the doctor (my guess) probably a professor at Vaidehi College of Medical Sciences who boards the college bus at 7.20. His wife drops him in their Maroon Maruti and at times he comes by auto (probably his wife was busy J ), The Blue ‘Star Bus’, yeah that is what is written on it! Don’t know which company , but zooms past at 7.20, the person at the window with his collar neck in the 3rd seat (on the left) who is fast asleep, his specs at the end of his nose (blessed are those who can sleep in the office shuttle, I am one and know what a wonderful nap it is while commuting to and fro, though these days I don’t sleep, reason being busy talking to my friend/colleague Umi ). The list does not stop here, the 3 aunties (must be in their 60’s), returning from their morning walk. I must say, they are so graceful, neat, beautiful with their pastel colored sweaters or lovely chawls and oh the ‘Nike’ and ‘Adidas Shoes’. Probably their children are in the US!!!!!!! Yes, I have seen that most parents who have kids in the US take a liking to these branded stuff. I look forward everyday to smile and they return a warm smile. Haven’t spoken to them yet. Maybe one of these days I will get to talk to them J. The office manager, the lady who works at the famous Cardiologist’s clinic. She really has a long work day. From 7.30am through 7.30-8pm everyday!.......she walks very slowly, must be enjoying the morning cool air and noticing how the street transforms from a silent, cool morning to a busy rustling street when she returns home! I forgot to mention, the place where I board the bus has a couple of apartments around though it is in on a very busy street with other offices, clinic, playground, a school, few shops and hotel.
And now to the most interesting part and the very reason that made me write today……………….There is this old couple, yeah must be in their early or mid 70’s who also return from their morning walk everyday at the same time – 7.20am. They are very slow paced with both of them holding a walking stick in their hand. They are careful with every step, pushing the tiny stones in their way with their walking sticks and ensure that they place their feet firm. However, the old man walks slightly faster than the old lady and stops and waits for her to catch-up. At times, he is giving her a heads-up (ha ha our office language) and warns her about a bigger stone that will not move with a whack of their stick forcing them to go around it L, a small water /mud patch or a big vehicle coming behind her. She carefully follows his instructions and catches-up speed with him and after 2, 3 steps he walks faster and again she lags behind and the same sequence repeats until they reach the point where I wait for my shuttle. She looks-up and gives me one of the most warmest smiles I ever get or have ever seen. Well, it is so hard to see someone look into your eyes and smile these days! At office, in hallways there are a number of colleagues who definitely can exchange smiles with, but people are rather lost in their own world or do not want to make any eye contact!!!!!! This irritates me!....Smile please, it increases your face value J.
Again let me get on track, I can imagine that it is an honest and such a genuine and lovely gesture of this old lady. I will stick to calling her old lady until further. She puts in effort to do this every day given that she is concentrating on her steps, watching for vehicles, mud/water patches. She has to completely stop, place her walking stick on safe ground, ensure she is standing in a safe corner of the road and then lift her head and give me her best SMILE. It never occurred to me until today that she is putting in effort to just repeat this gesture. But today, somehow it did. She had never spoken to me until today. All that she did was Smile, take a minute’s rest and continue to reach her apartment about 50 steps away……. Today, everything until she smiled was the same, after that she did not walk by, she looked at me and asked me “Do you have a Radio in your house?”……Imagine, a complete stranger, no I don’t want to call her a stranger, I have seen her for months now. I said “Yes, I do have”, but then there was a huge rush of thoughts that flooded my mind (why is she asking me this? Does she mistake me for someone? and so on……………….). She continued, very softly, “Do you work on Saturday’s or do you work half day on Saturday’s? Again, to this I answered – “No, I don’t work on Saturday’s, ours is a 5 day week office” (I was blank and no clue why she was asking me these vague questions) and my shuttle would come in any minute, it was 7.22….. I was anxious and in a hurry to know what she really wanted to tell me………………..she said (all this was in Kannada) “I am so happy, you have an off tomorrow, can you keep a reminder (again my mind, reminder for what, pls?) to hear to a drama on the AIR Bangalore station at 2.30pm tmorrow, do you know the story was written by me some 25 years back. Please make time to listen to it and let your family and friends know about the program” and she continued “ Back then, I used to write a lot of dramas, stories, was into literature and in particular the drama that is being aired tomorrow was published as a weekly serial in one of the famous kannada weekly magazines those days”, “My name is Pankaja, I was known as N. Pankaja and only recently I have started writing my full name Nugenahalli Pankaja”….. I was awestruck! If she had not mentioned this to me today, I would have never known. I was touched when she further said “ I know that people don’t listen to Radio anymore these days, in fact I got myself a transistor yesterday! – request you to kindly listen to the drama, it is a fun drama and being directed by a famous dramatist – Yamuna Murthy”. All that I could reply to her was “ Sure Madam, it is an honour to meet someone like you, I shall definitely listen to the drama and I am more than happy and thank you so much for talking to me today”……….To this she said, “ You are a smart girl, I have been noticing you everyday (donno what smartness she saw in me J ), I always wanted to say hello to you, felt happy after talking to you, I am not the same energetic lady I used to be, I am recovering from a heart problem, I will look forward to your review and comments on my drama” and to this all I could tell her was “I do not have the knowledge, please madam you are so modest”…. By this time, her hubby was wondering why she did not move and was checking with the watchman of the flat…………………It was 7.25 and I could see my shuttle turn in the corner of the road and I asked her to go carefully once again thanking her and bidding her bye, take care…………………………………….
This indeed is one of the most beautiful way the day has started…………………Hundreds of other thoughts coming in. Will write again, after I listen to the drama and meet her…………………..
I am sorry, if I took too much of your time. Let me be honest, this is the first effort to write something, today I wanted to and more than treasure and save it!...................thank you for taking time to read this……………………Have a wonderful day!...................................G3
Folks, sorry for the delayed update. Apparently, I could not listen to the drama. but, I did meet Mrs. Pankaja and she mentioned that those who listened to her drama called back and said it was good. She did not sound convincing as the director was not successful in dramatizing the way Mrs. Pankaja would have! Well, I dont get to meet her these days (my shuttle route changed). But look forward to staying in touch with her...................
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